Saturday, August 21, 2010

Finding Halleluiah- Introduction

It won’t be long now child, there isn’t much in our way. Though life has beaten you down suddenly I have your attention. Before the flames of lesser thought lick your understanding away, I would have you sit in the chair before me. Rest, be quiet and feel the warmth of My love. There is nothing as important as this moment. This space and time were planned just for you. The gift is here.

Everything behind you has had a hand in what and in who you have become. You cannot change that or erase it. Your past explains you, but it does not define who you are destined to be. Your past is only as powerful as you allow. What is important is now, is what is to come.

What if God was nothing like you imagined Him to be? What if He didn’t care about your church attendance, your drinking, smoking and manner of dress? What if you stood before Him naked and afraid and He said, “Perfect, I wouldn’t change a thing”.

And if you could believe that, how would it change your life? If guilt, shame, fear and hurt didn’t weigh you down or influence you in any way, who would be left?

In your biggest dreams, best dreams, what would your life look like?

This book was originally intended to be a rebuttal of the lies we have been told and judged by, as a means to help us feel a little less sting, since for years I churned with an angst inspired by that now lost happy little girl. Many times I climbed up on my soap box to shout at the judgers of the faith to tell them that they were very wrong. But in my own Halleluiah moment, I saw the truth. It just doesn’t matter. Chewing and regurgitating past hurts does not set a better course, but emphasizes the self-pity of a bad one.

What if our past explains us, but it does not define us? If the only power it has is the power we allow?

If we could see our life’s journey on a map, what would that map look like?

Clarity can only be found when we give ourselves time and space alone- and quiet. In a world where we can successfully stimulate every second of every day, being alone and being quiet are two very different things. There is a race going on, and we are told that if we are not in it, we are wrong- somehow. But too often the race is just a big merry-go-round- full of vigorous movement, loud noise and showy costume. If we jump off, we see things differently- we see.

God doesn’t call us to run anyone else’s race, though some may look as if they are the one we want to run. We cannot take a pass and let others choose our journey, though this is just what the evangelical movement created- a host of well meaning people who want to be told how to navigate through life in the way most pleasing to their Creator- a creator whose message they believe in with all their hearts. I do not want to imply that they did not mean well, that some evil trickery was part of their original plan, but instead that in a world of hurry, “have it all and have it right now”, a diet of inspirational messages, beautiful music, programs and rules were used as the tools that made us instantly feel- if not, good, than “less bad” and if not able to hear His voice, than to at least hear someone talk fondly about that someone we love, (not unlike a good funeral).

But what if God really did intend that we could each have our own message- one just for us and not one for a group- and what if today, right now where you are sitting, you could audibly hear His voice say to you, “You are perfect, I wouldn’t change a thing!” Would you accept that, would you believe it or would you try to explain to Him how wrong He is?

For you see- that IS the message. He’s been trying to tell you for a very long time. When you look through your life and find that the map reveals a trail of moments that have all led to This place, this message and this moment, you too will shout, “Halleluiah”.

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